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02 April 2006 @ 10:34 pm
First Post! w00t.  
Here goes. First post, and I have to get this out of myself before I die of over-feeling.
Love is a confusing mess of hate, hurt, lust, friend, heart, head, pants, brains...and...and...I don't know what. This man makes me cry most of the time, but it's not from making me feel worthless, quite the opposite. He dates other women, he screws other women and comes to me with his problems, and vice versa, but no matter how stupid he is or how many times he fails miserably I love him anyway.
I can't think of a better word for it.
I want to make his problems go away, I want him to be happy if he'd just let me. But several things keep that from happeneing right now.
Point is, though, I don't know what to do with myself anymore. Sure, I see other men, but I know they won't last for very long. I don't fool myself into thinking that THOSE dreams will come true. And...it confuses me so bad. It hurts me wen he's down, and I find myself thrilled (if not a taint jealous, just because of nature) when he's happy. I wish...well, I don't know what I wish, exactly. I wish the world were perfect and things could be where we COULD both be happy. But not yet. No, not yet.

...I feel so much better getting that out, nonsensical as it could be. Love you guys, thanks so much for listening.
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Current Location: my room
Current Music: evita.
 
 
 
invisibob: brightinvisibob on April 3rd, 2006 03:59 am (UTC)
*snugs*

Life wouldn't be life if thing's weren't in a complicated mess most of the time. When you can't count on anything else, you can count on those people who really love you to take care of you.

*wraps in blanket*

Night, love.
I Need No Introduction.verysourcherry on April 3rd, 2006 03:56 pm (UTC)
I heart you, bob.

*snugs*